I get the concept. We are supposed to envision ourselves in the future, on Jan. 1, 2012 to be exact, and what we would have will have achieved by then. They do this also on The Biggest Loser. It is one of my favorite parts of the entire season. Where in a split screen the "before" contestant has a message to the same contestant in the future. It is extremely moving and powerful. Not sure this letter will be! But I write it from the heart, so we shall see what happens (oh yes we will, won't we!)
January 7, 2012,
Hello my dear friend. Enjoy a cup of tea while we catch up a bit, shall we?
I have been so eager to get in touch with you because I see you have not given up on all the things you set out to do! I never doubted for one minute that that would NOT be the case!
Congratulations on WINNING the Biggest Winner competition at your gym! You really thrived once you were under the guidance of a personal trainer. I know how much you had wanted to do that in the past but were intimidated by the idea or the expense. You registered for that 8-week Biggest Loser-style competition at the start of the New Year in 2011 just like you told your friends and family you wanted to. They were not surprised one bit that not only did you enter, but that you won! I knew you could do it!! I saw the fire in you every time you were with your teammates, working to win another challenge after another. Your fantastic experiences at The Sisterhood, especially with your Tribe Green sisters (and one hubby), PREPARED you for this competition. You thrived in Shrinkvivor. You thrived in the Power of One. It was only natural that you register for this competition at your gym! A no brainer!
It can now be said that 2011 was the year you became a runner. You ran your first 5k without having to take any walk breaks, and you completed one of your biggest goals of the year, participating in one 5k a month. That's 12 races under your belt!! I still say, get rid of some of those T-shirts from previous years. You need to make room for the new ones, girl!!
You ran the Baltimore Women's Classic - I know it is one of your favorite races and you have been in it several times. You continue to be moved by seeing a tidal wave of women, of all ages, sharing a common goal of health and fitness. Not only did you run that race, but I know this was the first year you pulled a team of friends together so that you could raise more money for the important cause of ovarian cancer research. Who would have thought you could lead a group to do that? YOU thought it, that's who!
You inspired many along your journey this year. Even in January, people were joining you for workouts when they had not been interested in the past. I heard your friends saying "If Mary can do it, I can do it I will register for that race too." You had a nice group going there for the St. Patrick's Day 5k for your March race.
At Beth's wedding in September, you were simply stunning. Down another 40 pounds by then from your highest weight. All because you kept up with your motivation and WW! Way to go!
You did much better this year with that all or nothing mentality in terms of fitting exercise into your day, and with recognizing the triggers that set off emotional eating and finding alternatives to binging.
I know there have been dark moments. Let's be real. They still exist. Your heartache over not being a mother fills your pores at every baby shower, christening or even at times a run by the park. Those tidal waves of pain still crash over you, but no longer does each wave knock you down, sending you tumbling, tumbling. Mother's Day? Yes, that was one of those times again for you this year. How you get through that day I will never know other than you make sure you are with your own mother that day. She knows your pain though you have never spoken of it. You have recognized how to feel the pain and that it is OK to feel it. And you have continued to know the benefits of exercise in keeping those waves from becoming a tsunami. Thank goodness for realizing what a healer moving one foot in front of the other can be.
I am so glad that throughout the year, you remembered the important things:
You are strong.
You are loved.
You are not afraid to try new things.
It's ok to cry.
You can kick some butt in a friendly competition!
You transfuse light and hope and strength to everyone around you.
Many blessings my dear friend,
Your 2012 self.